Unique Laws

Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Murphy's Law

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair

Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
Tussman's Law

The solution to a problem changes the problem.
Peer's Law

There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
William's Law

Machines should work. People should think.
IBM's Pollyanna Principle

The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage - management.
The Dilbert Principle

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
Ehrlich's Law

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
Ralph's Observation

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
Cannon's Comment

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
The Law of Reality

When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
The Law of Avoiding Oversell

Sometimes you are the dog. Sometimes you are the hydrant.
Law of Physical Displacement

Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
Legal Rights

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Law of Probable Dispersal

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football.A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein"
American footballer Joe Theismann
http://www.sportshollywood.com/dumbquotes.html

KOBULETELY,
either you are a genious or we are out of our minds,
where in the hell you draw out your ingenuity, pal, for god"s sake ?

BIDZINA'S MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM

" Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”

A Russian guy at the USA customs.
Customs agent looks at his passport and asks:
-Nationality?
-Russian.
-Occupation?
-No, just visiting...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.